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P.S. [Feb. 2nd, 2005|06:15 am]
[mood |hopefulhopeful]

So...It's been a long long time since I've updated this journal. I'm not accustomed to sharing all my private matters with so many. I have a journal for my own. And those who really know me know that I'm a very private person. i enjoy bottling everything up inside of me. I am very excited to have so many people coming back into my life, especially one's who I thought I lost after closing myself off to the world around me. I fills my heart to no end. I'm sorry to everyone who I was a complete and utter monster and bitch to. I wish I could take it all back, but I can't. I am truly sorry for hurting you all. I do love you guys and I miss you all so much. I am going to try my hardest to update this every so often in attempts to reconnect with those who have moved on.

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next." -Gilda Radner
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"Hanging On For Hope" [Feb. 2nd, 2005|06:04 am]
[mood |hopefulhopeful]

"Hanging On For Hope"

Are you hanging on for hope?
The clock strikes past the hour.
Is the pain enough to choke the life out?
You may never get to sleep. Your time is not your time tonight.
Her smile will make you weak and proud.
Do you ever miss her?
Do you feel the cold wind whisper?
Is there anything more deafening?
Are you hanging on for hope?
It's all you've got worth living for.
Is it much too much to cope the road out?
There's a tension when we speak.
The income's overrated but it's worth it when we meet on common ground.
Do you ever miss her?
Do you feel the cold wind whisper?
Is there anything:.
Do you ever cower when the clock strikes past the hour?
Is there anything more deafening?
Are you hanging on for hope?
It's all you got, it's all you got.
I miss you more that you could know when I'm gone.
-the new amsterdams
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yup yup yup [Jul. 21st, 2004|09:20 pm]
The \\
Last Cigarette:over a year ago
Last Alcoholic Drink:7/02/03
Last Car Ride:about 3 hours ago
Last Kiss:this afternoon. around 1:15ish
Last Good Cry:monday night
Last Library Book:ummm- some dance one from school
Last book bought:rituals for healing and protection from the female buddha
Last Book Read:rituals for healing and protection from the female buddha
Last Movie Seen in Theatres:dodgeball
Last Movie Rented:umm- something from blockbuster???
Last Cuss Word Uttered:hah! they flow from my mouth with ease!
Last Beverage Drank:seagram's ginger ale
Last Food Consumed:tasty cake chocolate donut
Last Crush:peter/doug (i got him. does that count?)
Last Phone Call:steph
Last TV Show Watched:all my children (its good to be home)
Last Time Showered:this morning- 10ish
Last Shoes Worn:still wearing them- black canvas old school vans
Last CD Played:jtb
Last Item Bought:train ticket
Last Download:i dunno
Last Annoyance:hah! he knows who he is!
Last Disappointment:trying to explain myself, my feelings, and my words.
Last Soda Drank:seagram's ginger ale
Last Thing Written:seagram's ginger ale
Last Key Used:tab
Last Words Spoken:christ!
Last Sleep:ummm- last night
Last Ice Cream Eaten:vanilla soft serve with chocolate sprinkles
Last Chair Sat In:still sitting- bedroom desk chair
Last Webpage Visited:livejournal

Create a survey!
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It's been a tough few days... [Jul. 12th, 2004|06:23 pm]
It's been so rough for me the last few days. That's all I need to say. You can send me all forms of love and support to: littletacy@yahoo.com
thank you.
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My Turn... [Jul. 2nd, 2004|04:18 pm]
. Slept in your bed: I don’t have a bed of my own.
. Saw you cry: Doug
. Made you cry: Both of us.
. You shared a drink with: Doug
. You went to the movies with: Doug-Dodgeball-for his 27th birthday
. You went to the mall with: I haven’t been to the mall in a while, but I think it was after my surgery with Doug.
. Sent you an email: Kate

. Said "I Love You" and meant it? Yeah…its hard when you don’t know if the “I Love You’ back is as sincere as yours.
. Gotten in a fight with your pet? Not my pet. I don’t have one…but I have one with Copper at least once a day.
. Danced naked: Everyday!!!
. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened
The next day: Yeah. Sometimes I even dream event that I don’t know have happened.
. Wish you were the opposite sex: nope
. Had an imaginary friend: Yes. A little boy when I was little.

. Do you have a crush on someone: yes and I’m in love with him too.
. What book are you reading now: almost finished dharma punx by noah levine
. Worst feeling in the world: Unloved and alone.

. Future daughter’s name: I dunno. I’m no ready for that right now.
. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: I used too.
. What's under your bed: I don’t have a bed of my own.
. Favorite sport to watch: hmmm…I dunno.
. Siblings: Two brothers and two sisters
. Location: Philadelphia
. College plans: Hopefully nothing will go wrong this semester and I’ll finally get out!
. Piercings/tattoos: yup to both

. California: no
. Hawaii: no
. Mexico: no
. China: no
. Canada: maybe. I was young and in lake placid and can’t remember if we went there.

. Do you do drugs: nope
. Do you drink: nope (I’ve been practicing a straight edge lifestyle for a year now. I feel so much better about myself and everything.)
. Who is your best friend: Doug, Hilary, Kendra
. What are you most scared of: Being alone and unloved
. What clothes do you sleep in: it depends on the night…usually undies and a tank top.
. Where do you want to get married: somewhere beautiful…maybe a big church, maybe cliffs overlooking the beach, Asia or India or Ireland…I dunno…just somewhere beautiful.
. Been in Love: Yes totally. Sometimes its wonderful and other times it kicks my ass.
. Do you drive: yup, but only when I go home to the burbs.
. Do you have a job: Yup-countergirl extraordinaire at No KaOi Tiki Tattoo and Body Graphics, and I play secretary in the dance office at Uarts.
. Do you like being around people: certain ones and at certain times.
. Are you for world peace: yes
. Are you a health freak: sometimes.

. Have you ever loved someone you had no chance with: yup
. Have you ever cried over something someone of the
opposite sex did: yeah…sniff sniff
. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: No not at all. I don’t think so.
. Are you lonely right now: no not really
. Song thats stuck in your head a lot: there’s a few.
. Do you want to get married: yes…eventually. But I really don’t care as long as I get to spend the rest of my life with the person I love…that’s really all that matters.
. Do you want kids: eventually

. Room in house: I don’t know. That bathroom?
. Type(s) of music: it varies from day to day.
. Color: blues and greens
. Perfume or cologne: guy’s cologne
. Month: November, December, June, August.
. Stone: Cold marble.
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UGGGH. [Jun. 8th, 2004|06:15 pm]
today is the day where i just want to shoot myself in the head.
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HEHE! [Jun. 1st, 2004|12:54 pm]
What stupid celebrity are you destined to kill? by daydreamer8852
You killed
With a
OnDecember 23, 2014
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!
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(no subject) [May. 28th, 2004|04:54 pm]
[mood |antsy]

F I R S T:

First job: bucks county playhouse
First screen name: starlettetz47
First funeral: the first i can remember is either my great-uncle francis or my grandfather.
First pet: i got a hermit crab when i was like 11, but he only lived like 3 days.
First piercing/tattoo: ears/stars
First credit card: hehe-citi bank master card
First real kiss: i think either mike t or mike g in grade school.
First love: yup-had one of those.
First enemy: peter lesquawitz
First favorite musician: hmmm...i dunno.

L A S T S:

Last car ride: wednesday night after dinner and work. doug's so sweet!
Last kiss: this afternoon after lunch. it was on the forehead. i like those.
Last library book checked out: prolly one for my dance history class sophmore year.
Last movie watched: hmm...i saw part of "american sweethearts" and "coyote ugly" last night.
Last beverage drank: coke-no ice
Last food consumed: chkn parm sandwich and vegetable chips
Last time showered: about 15 minutes ago
Last CD played: the smiths
Last website visited: LJ friends page

N O W:

Single or Taken: somewhere in between the two
Birthday: 11/13/81
Sign: scorpio
Siblings: 2 brothers and 2 sisters.
Hair color: right now, strawberry blonde and brownish. (i bleached it and dyed it 3 times in the last 15 hours...AND IT HASN'T FALLEN OUT YET!)
Eye color: dark brown
Shoe size: 5.5-6.5
Height: fivefoottwo
Right now what are you: antsy
Wearing: tank top and jeans
Thinking about: stuff
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Scared to Lose [May. 24th, 2004|03:42 pm]
[mood |melancholymelancholy]

I can honestly say I felt you.
I had givin' up on you, waiting for so long.
Assuming you would never come.
I tripped over you once before.
And my timing was nothing more than horrible and now that I found you if I can just hold on.
Please wait, I'm wrong.
Have I put this onto you?
I'm asking stupid questions that you don't have to answer to.
But you wait.
And you look.
I guess I'm just scared to lose the smell that fills my room so beautifully.
So I spent the day just thinking about you.
And all the things you said to keep me from, pounding through my bed.
It wasn't hard to see.
It wasn't hard to realize.
That you love me for me.
And that you will always be.
Please wait.
I was wrong to put this onto you.
I'll keep my eyes wide open.
And leave my walls alone.
And you wait and you say...
You can't be scared to lose 'cause you know the way you need me is the way I need you.
The way you need me is the way I need you...scared to lose.
Life feels so out of tune,
I wish I could reach in my pocket and pull out a piece I broke off of you.
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*BORED*BORED*BORED* [May. 20th, 2004|12:09 pm]
this one's for you, reader

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your LJ and see what I say about you?
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